Ok working on Mom I have found a John W Hendley listed with mom in Richmond 1850 then married in Kansas in 1860. I think he was a 2nd Lt in Co C 10th Mo Cav at one point. Overall I think he beats the two Handleys I previously noted.

He resigned his commission July 8th 1864.
https://www.fold3.com/image/92875990/hendley-john-w-page-9-us-civil-war-service-records-cmsr-confederate-missouri-1861-1865

1850 Census
Name John W Hendley
Gender Male
Race White
Age 14
Birth Year abt 1836
Birthplace Missouri
Home in 1850 District 75, Ray, Missouri, USA
Attended School Yes
Line Number 15
Dwelling Number 51
Family Number 51
Inferred Mother
Perneta Hendley
Household Members (Name) Age
Perneta Hendley 35
Mary J Hendley 16
John W Hendley 14
George W Hendley 12
Malner R Hendley 8
Isriella Hendley 5

Of note younger brother Malnor was in Co A 3rd Mo Infantry killed at Vicksburg. https://www.sos.mo.gov/Images/Archives/Military/s00732/s00732_2041.pdf

George was in Co A, 1st Mo Cav, enlisting Richmond Mo 1861
https://www.sos.mo.gov/Images/Archives/Military/s00732/s00732_2034.pdf

1860 Census
Name Jno W Hendley
Age 24
Birth Year abt 1836
Gender Male
Race White
Birth Place Missouri
Home in 1860 Wayne, Doniphan, Kansas Territory
Post Office Doniphan
Dwelling Number 1140
Family Number 1037
Occupation Saddler
Personal Estate Value 250
Inferred Spouse Louisa Hendley
Inferred Child Mary E Hendley
Household Members (Name) Age
Jno W Hendley 24
Louisa Hendley 18
Mary E Hendley 6/12

1870 Census
Name John Henley
Age in 1870 36
Birth Date abt 1834
Birthplace Missouri
Dwelling Number 163
Home in 1870 Shannon, Atchison, Kansas
Race White
Gender Male
Post Office Oak Mills
Occupation Farmer
Male Citizen Over 21 Yes
Personal Estate Value 700
Inferred Spouse
Louisa Henley
Inferred Children
Elizabeth Henley
James Henley
Thanos Henley

Marriage 1859

Name Mr John W Hendley
Marriage Date 25 Mar 1859
Marriage Place Ray, Missouri, USA
Spouse Lou Dunning

Find a grave: https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/126693303/jonathan-w.-hendley