Riley's father, Jeptha Crawford, was taken from his home near Blue Springs and shot by Jayhawkers. Riley's mother, Elizabeth, brought Riley to Quantrill at age 15 asking him to make a guerrilla of Riley. Riley fought alongside Anderson at the Centralia Massacre. He was killed at age 17 in Cooper County in 1864.

I'm thinking that any type of formal ~law~ was completely ignored in this conflict, and I do mean by either side or those in between. Anyway, above is only one example! I really don't think that 14 would have been unreasonable...
Nor do I think that a southern woman would necessarily have not defended herself or her family. Most of these families worked as a Team. In my opinion, the Union should have been aware of the consequences of their actions! Apparently they did not comprehend that they merely infuriated the Guerrillas by executing and harming their families... Hence, both sides retaliated...