Ken Jones
CW Poetry, with an Alabama flavor
Fri Nov 10 15:15:39 2000


Deborah Bass-Frazier sent me a poem that I thought was interesting. It's online and taken from an e-book, _Recollections of War Times by an Old Veteran While under Stonewall Jackson and Lieutenant General James Longstreet;
How I Got In, and How I Got Out_, published in Montgomery
(Paragon Press, 1909). You can find the whole book at http://www.civilwarancestor.com/STORE/files/Ebook0067.htm and then scroll down a page or two. The poem reads:

WHEN WILL THE CONFEDERATE SOLDIER BE FORGOTTEN?

"When the lion eats grass like an ox
And the gallinipper swallows the whale,
When the terrapin knits woolen socks
And the hare is outrun by the snail.
When serpents walk upright like men
And doodle bugs travel like frogs,
When grasshoppers feed on the hen
And feathers are found on the hogs,
When Thomas cats swim in the air,
And elephants roost upon trees,
When insects in summer are rare
And snuff never makes people sneeze.
When fish creep over dry land
And mules on bycicles ride,
When foxes lay eggs in the sand
And women in dress take no pride.
When Dutchmen no longer drink beer
And girls get to preaching on time,
When billy goats butt from the rear,
And treason is no longer a crime,
When the humming bird brays like a donkey
And limburger smells like cologne,
When plowshares are made out of monkeys
And the hearts of Alabamians are stone."
—By Mr. James Barson in Age Herald, June 9th, 1908.